Making amends is serious business. The Big Book makes that clear. But nobody warned me it would turn into what I now call "The Great Apology Tour of 2024."

It started normally - family, friends, coworkers. Check, check, check. But then my sponsor asked, "Anyone else you need to make amends to?" And that's when things got interesting.

The Unexpected Apologies:

My Houseplants: "Hey fern, I'm sorry I forgot to water you for three months during my drinking days. And philodendron, my bad for using you as a coaster that one time." (They seem to have forgiven me - they're thriving now.)

My Coffee Table: "I'm really sorry about all those times I put my feet on you without asking. And for that incident with the pizza slice." (Still waiting for a response on this one.)

My Liver: This one got emotional. "Liver, buddy, we've been through a lot together. I'm sorry for all the overtime I made you work. Let's be friends again?" (I swear it tingled a little.)

My Bank Account: "I apologize for treating you like a magical, never-ending source of bar money." (This relationship is still in recovery.)

The Local Bartender: "Sorry for crying about my ex-girlfriend every Tuesday for six months." (He said it was part of the job, but appreciated the apology anyway.)

The Lesson:

Here's what I learned: amends aren't just about saying sorry. They're about acknowledging the full scope of how our actions affected our world - including the weird, small, seemingly insignificant parts.

Did I really need to apologize to my houseplants? Probably not. But taking care of them now, keeping them healthy and watered, feels like a living amends to the version of myself that neglected everything, including the small responsibilities.

Plus, my plants have never looked better, my coffee table is spotless, and my liver and I are on speaking terms again. Sometimes the silliest amends teach us the most about taking responsibility.

Just don't tell my sponsor I also apologized to my car. We agreed that one might have been taking it too far.

Rule 62 Reminder: If you're taking your amends so seriously that you can't laugh about apologizing to furniture, you might be missing the point.